


On the High Seas

by DarkShadeless



Series: Past, Present, Future [5]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, Gen, Kit being his charming self, None - Freeform, Time Travel, XD, mentions of torture, no actual torture happening, what can i say, you didn't think Kit would let that happen did you?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22076617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkShadeless/pseuds/DarkShadeless
Summary: Theron has had better days, that's for certain, but it could have been worse.
Series: Past, Present, Future [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1346524
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	On the High Seas

**Author's Note:**

> Kit's one man quest to strategically unfuck the galaxy continues!  
> I have nothing to say for myself or him at this point XD just that we are having as much fun with this as we can.  
> ... I initially posted this without a summary in my excitement. Sorry about that.

“Pirates. Kriffing pirates, I swear by all the little gods! Let’s go to Rishi, he said, it’ll be _fun_ he said. Sand, palm trees and cocktails, what could possibly go _wrong_? Excuse me? Hey, you!”

That’s Theron’s only warning before he finds himself unceremoniously grabbed by the shoulder and hauled to a full stop. He’s halfway to his blaster when his brain catches up to what’s happening.

The kid looks like he’s belly-scraping legal drinking age, all elbows and knees. “Look, have you seen a human, yay high, dressed like a- shit. M4, have you got a recording of him?”

Going by the dejected whistle of the beat-up little astromech following him around, it doesn’t. “Force fucking damn it!”

Whomever they lost, this is a pirate town. Their chances at finding their friend in one piece are… not exactly great.

Theron pushes a twinge of his conscience aside. “Sorry, can’t help you.”

He needs to get going. Lana’s liable to start their raid without him if he doesn’t get a move on.

_And it would’ve been such a shame to miss out on this, too._

Yeah, Theron’s definitely learned his lesson here. Never trust a Sith.

Not that it will do him any _good_. Judging by the interrogation platform he’s chained to the knives will come out any second now. Or the cattle prods. Whichever the bastard in charge feels like today.

Getting stuck on what-if’s won’t save his skin.

Speaking of tenses, the past is about to bite him in the ass something fierce.

:: Agent Shan. So good of you to join us. :: intones the oversized holo of maybe-possibly-Revan. How come his family reunions are always shavit? Do other people have to deal with this or is Theron just special?

:: I will give you a choice, blood of my blood. Join me and you will be spared. Join me and we will save the galaxy, together! ::

Someone’s definitely smoking the good stuff. “Sure, why not.” The agent huffs in as much derision as he can manage while his heart beats faster with every moment that his shackles fail to respond to his attempts at hacking them. “How about ‘no’?”

Revan shakes his head in disapproval. :: And here I had such hope you’d see the light. But no matter. We have some time, you and I, to change your- :: A flicker of interference runs through his holo. :: What was that? ::

The bootlicker that had been eyeing Theron like a three-star-chef a fresh cut of meat steps up to the console. “I’m not sure, sir. Let me run a-“

With the tell-tale sound of a well-fuelled explosion all artificial light goes out. For a split second before the backup generators can compensate there’s no power. Theron’s implants register the cascading failure and reboot of electronic equipment. The computers, the screen, the holo.

The _handcuffs_.

He’s in the system before he can make a conscious choice to crack it, evading the lagging defensive response like he was born to do this dance. _This_ is what he’s good at. A moment of weakness is all he ever needed. Not even that, if he really had to do without, but it sure comes in handy when there’s no time to waste.

In the blink of an eye, half an eternity of server time, Theron’s free and scrambling off the table.

“Freeze, prisoner! Lord Revan isn’t done with you!”

Fat chance of that. He rolls, takes the closest console for cover while frantically evaluating his options. A stray blaster shot blackens the wall next to his head. _Kriff._

Either that idiot can’t shoot for shit or he doesn’t care if he can re-take his prisoner. _Great, just great._

Theron has to take him out. He won’t get past him to the door any other way, the sight lines are too clean. If he gets stuck hacking that thing as a sitting duck –

He’s still calculating his chances, angles of attack and whether or not he could overpower the interrogator without getting shot when the light on the hatch comes back online with a flicker of cheerful green. _Green_.

Before Theron can make a run for it, it opens and it’s no longer a one-on-one match he has to deal with. _Human, five feet and a bit, armed._

That registers before the _rest_ of him does. He doesn’t look that much like a follower of Revan, all told. More like one of the pirates from the next town over got lost and wandered into the base to ask for directions.

There’s the smallest spark of hope in Theron’s heart. Even if the guy is just as likely to kill him as his captors are, this has potential, because whoever that is-

“You! This area is off limits!”

He’s a _distraction_.

Paradoxically enough, having a blaster waved in his direction doesn’t even make the man flinch. On the contrary, he catches sight of the torture chamber and the evil-lair-décor and _smiles_. Brightly. Theron swears he can see his teeth sparkle.

“Oh, great! Hi! Did you know the reception is really terrible around here? And the manners are just awful.”

“Wha- Who are- How did- Drop your weapons, scum!”

“See what I mean? Do you call that polite? Your mother would be ashamed.”

There are two things Theron learns while he creeps toward the open door. One, this guy is grade A crazy and _two_ he’s going to be dead in about a second, or so the agent would have sworn before the interrogator takes sight, shoots and _misses_ on account of his target stubbing his toe on the threshold.

The pirate’s arms pinwheel as he tries to stay upright and what the actual fuck. How did he even get in here?

At any rate he’s not only a distraction, he’s a _great_ distraction. Theron’s never met a better distraction in his _life_. Sight for sore eyes and his timing is gold. Now if he can just get past him without biting it–

His distraction catches himself on a stack of crates with a huff of relief. They creak alarmingly. “Uh-oh.”

One beautiful chain reaction later the giant screen on the wall has come lose and crushed his captor under its weight. The whole thing is so absurd it glues Theron to the spot as his mind refuses to make sense of the sight.

Things like this don’t happen in real life. They just _don’t_.

They’ve drugged him, haven’t they? To the gills. Maybe he hallucinated the entirety of this, would explain freaking _Revan_ turning up to have a chat. He really should get that therapy about his family issues his handlers keep suggesting. Kept suggesting, before he semi-deserted to save the Republic from itself.

Theron’s (accidental?) rescuer prods what’s left of the Revanite with the tip of his boots. “Ugh. So much for that. Worst lair ever. What do I have to do to get a location plan around here?”

No time like the present. With his best affectation of nonchalance, not his greatest considering all the cuts and bruises he got in transit alone, Theron clears his throat. “Suppose that depends what you’re looking for.”

‘The hangar’ is sadly not on any map Theron can hack, although he seriously doubts that it will be found under a _mountain_ , if you catch his drift.

“I looked outside and it just wasn’t there. Figured I might as well try my luck, you know?”

Kit, his new _best_ friend, gestures with both hands in a way that makes Theron twitch because he’s _holding his blaster_ in one of them. Naturally, it goes off.

There’s a scream somewhere to the side, followed by the dull sound of a body falling on something made of metal.

Theron’s… not even trying to make sense of Kit’s general everything at this point. Seriously. What.

“And you’re having no luck with what, exactly?”

“Finding my ship! Can you believe those bastard stole it? I left it out of my sight for a _second_ and it was gone!”

Yeah, imagine that, someone stealing a ship in a pirate town. Just Theron’s luck that it was the Revanites who did it and not, say, _literally_ _anyone else_.

Actually, that meshes with what he and Lana have learned, especially now that he has been in the systems around here. The Revanites seem to be amassing a fleet somewhere in the vicinity of Rishi, ready to get the jump on both Empire and Republic in one fell swoop.

Now if Theron can figure out where that damnable signal jammer is located so that he can get out a distress call, or _better yet_ a warning to the damned Republic, he’s going to call this mission a success even with the stopover on an interrogation table that he will have to have _words_ about with someone.

New acquaintances notwithstanding he hasn’t got a clue about how to manage that yet. Almost makes him regret getting out of Revan’s clutches before he could work his magic on the bastard and get some intel out of him, or Mr. Cattle Prod.

“Hate to break it to you but I don’t think your ship is here.” Kit deflates into a pout that does _things_ to Theron’s libido. Oh _Force._ No. This is not happening. Kit might be saving his arse here but the guy is a _disaster_ and possibly a criminal too.

He has been on the run for entirely too long. Being stuck in a tiny safe house with no one but Jakarro, Lana and one cranky droid-head for company isn’t doing his impulse control any favours.

“You’re probably right.”

He sounds so let down Theron is hard pressed not to offer to help him find it. Kit _did_ rescue him, even if it was an accident. But he doesn’t have the time, he _really doesn’t_. The fate of the galaxy, or at least a good chunk of the fleet of the Republic, rests on his shoulders.

Thank the Force Theron’s saved from having to field that explanation by the second best thing that has happened to him all week.

Footsteps echo through the tunnel and before he can level his blaster at the sound, Raan rounds the bend of the tunnel further ahead at speed. Something inside Theron uncramps as the sight. They _came_ for him.

“Theron!”

A teeny, tiny part of him can’t help but wonder if he _knew_ but- _He came for him._ He wouldn’t have left him to die here.

It’s… something.

The cathar comes to a sliding halt in front of them, heaving for breath as if he’s run the whole way. “You’re alright! Thank the Force, I thought- kriff. You are alright, right?”

Yeah, Raan would never do this to him. Cold as Jedi can be, he isn’t one of those that go that way. He has always… cared. ‘Cared too much’ his mother would probably say. Well, she can take a long hike of a short pier, as his current neighbours would say. “Yeah. I’m good. Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix.”

He doesn’t get to follow up on his suspicions about Lana, or brush them aside for now seeing as they have _more important things to be doing_ and not nearly enough information. In the wake of his one man rescue squad Raan’s companion slipped Theron’s admittedly taxed attention until he barrels past them, right into Kit’s space. A very familiar little droid brings up the rear in all its scuffed glory.

“Where the kriff have you been, you bantha’s arse! I had to turn all of damned Raider’s Cove upside down just to find out you took off to the middle of fricking nowhere!”

M4 bleeps its agreement.

 _You’ve got to be kidding me._ ‘Sorry, can’t help you.’ was all he had to spare for those two. Looks like they ended up helping _him_ instead.

“They took the _ship,_ Sewlor!”

“Who cares about that shredded rustbucket!”

“I bled credits for that new hyperdrive! And poor Bluebell and Goldie are still on it too!”

“I don’t give a flark about your demonic pets! You could’ve _died_!”

Theron isn’t the only one who winces when the boy’s voice rises to a shriek at the last word. If anyone’s still alive in this base, they know exactly where the intruders are now.

“Right, so as happy as I am to see you, how about we take this somewhere else?” Preferably before the entirety of Revan’s army is on their case.

Kit’s shoulders curve in defeat. “Might as well. Do you think there’s a shuttle back in town? If my poor ship’s not here they probably towed it off to that stupid island with the ugly antenna and I _hate_ boat rides, they take forever-“

“Wait just a damned second. Island? What _island_?”

No one catches up with them. In fact, they don’t meet a single follower of Revan until they crash his _other_ secret hideout. Later, much later, Theron will realize that Raan had just made it through the door when they ran into him. No, there was just one person who had the run of the place.

But that’s not possible… is it?

* * *

Sewlor musters the cluttered docks and he can _feel_ his eye twitch. They’ve found the ship and more trouble than should be possible, not that he is surprised but… but. “Kit.”

His master doesn’t even deign look up from his beloved labelling machine. Why do they even have a _labelling machine,_ half of their cargo is illegal! “Yes.”

“I thought we were going after those idiots.”

“We are.”

“Then help me out here: _Why are we stocking a literal ton of ice chocolates and about a hundred automated fans?_ ”

“Location, location, location Sewlor.”

That's not even a sentence, how is it supposed to be a reason, what the kriff.

They're sold out a week after arriving on Yavin 4, all but mobbed by two halves of an army that barely bother to pretend to be a unit and are desperate for any source of serotonin and cool they can get their hands on. The surreal amount of bug repellent Kit insisted on stocking lasts barely to the end of the first day.

That's around when Sewlor gives up on the entire _planet_. What kind of hellhole is this?


End file.
